Tuesday, February 26, 2013


I'm physically and mentally drained.  I feel like I'm taking on WAY too much.  My everyday life of being a working mom and wife is busy enough, but I really want to focus on ME and get fit and healthy.  I'm not sure if it was the best time to do this but adding a food diary and exercising into my daily life is time consuming in itself.  I'm also working feverishly to pay off our debt so I can eventually be a stay at home mom if that is the path we decide to take.  I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions and I'm not able to do anything good enough.  Our bills are slowly getting paid off, we are down to 1 credit card that *should* be paid off within the next 6 months.  There are so many things that I need to do but just don't have the energy to do them.  I miss sitting on the couch after the kids go to bed and watching my trash TV.  That time is now filled with my workout and a quick shower before bed.  My 5am wake up call always comes way too early and it literally feels like I run for 12 straight hours until I walk in the door at 5pm.   I'm struggling to find a balance with this all before I have a breakdown.  Or eat a dozen donuts.  Whichever comes first.  I feel so much better watching what I eat and exercising but I'm not gonna lie.  The 1.6 pounds I lost last week is pretty discouraging.  I tried SO HARD to stay around my 1200 calorie goal and I stuck to my workouts and my reward is ONLY losing 1.6 pounds?  I guess it could be worse right?  I could have gained 1.6 pounds...I'm just tired and worn out and frustrated.  I will get past this, I always do, I just needed to write it out so I can move on.  End rant.

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